I am fully aware that love is traditionally given and received through touch. We hug and kiss, caress, and hold hands. This love, although romantic and exciting, is also physical. However, I find that more genuine and platonic love is often shown without physicality. I often feel this sort of love more intensely, and it makes me happier. I suppose you could call it charity.
I’m not sure what to call it, but I know that every so often I will feel this love transmitted from another person and it just makes me relaxed, calm, happy, and content. Do you know that feeling?
I first remember feeling it in the presence of an elementary school friend. I was probably in first or second grade, and I don’t remember anything about this friend other than the fact that she spoke so quietly and sweetly that I felt calm in her presence. My shoulders would relax, my happiness would increase, and an overall feeling of well being permeated my soul. I loved her soft voice, and I wished to speak as kindly as she did. I loved the way I felt when she spoke to me, with such care.
Over the years, this is the most frequent way that I would feel this friendly love, this sense of calm. I always marveled at the people I would meet that could cause me to feel this way. I would try for days after being in their presence to be like them, to speak with such calmness. I wanted to hold onto that feeling forever and to continue spreading that feeling of love to the world.
However, recently I felt that same love without even speaking to the person. I received it through the mail in a package. The package was wrapped with such flair and care that I could not help but feel special. A beautiful smell emanated from the package, and everything in it coordinated and screamed “I cared when I sent this to you.” I felt special upon receiving this package and that same sense of calm and peace just from knowing that I had been the recipient of love.
I what ways do you feel and/or transmit love without touch? Do you know that feeling I have described?
And how can we better show this love toward others? The new year is a time of resolutions and change, but I hardly ever make resolutions. I find that I’m a driven person with goals and aspirations. I don’t need a holiday or a special time of year to motivate me to change or to work harder at something. However, each year I want to be better at being more loving. I want to feel charity more often and toward everyone, not just my friends or those who are kind to me. I want to be somebody who is loving and kind. I’m definitely a work in progress.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Emily, what a truly wonderful story. I also love your equating the first in person experience with the sensation you got when someone took great care to wrap a present for you. Happy Valentine’s Day. BTG
Thanks, BTG! Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too.
Emily, thank you for sharing this truly wonderful post. I remember I had that feeling when my best friend Joanna was taking care of me after the varicose vein removal surgery. She had unwrapped the legs, cleaned them, wrapped them back up. It is not the most pleasant of the procedures but all the time the look of concern for me had not left her face. She now lives in Poland (permanently) yet I miss her every day.
Wow. What am amazing friend. I had a roommate like that once. I miss her too. I hope you get to see Joanna soon.
I definitely know that feeling, and though some people seem to naturally emanate that feeling of calm, I believe all people have the capacity. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing!
I agree. We all have the capacity, but I find it is rare that I feel it from people, and I want to be one of those people! 🙂 Maybe I should ask them how they do it.
It’s all about the little moments for me. Last night, instead of bemoaning my singlehood, I made a long list of all the things and people that make me feel happy and loved. I’m going to focus on all of that today. Happy Valentine’s Day!
I am going to join you! I need to feel grateful today instead of focusing on the few things that seem to go wrong. Great idea!
what beautiful way to think of love. The feeling of love so easily spread and yet so easily taken for granted, If anyone would like to share the love across the world please take a look at my campaign. If youd rather not donate then sharing the link would be greatly appreciated 🙂
You can also read about my fundraising efforts at http://alibuckley50.wordpress.com/
It sounds like you have found a way to share that love. Kudos to you!
I love this! I’m sure if I thought about it for a while I would be able to think of many examples of this, but the first one that came to me was when I had had minor surgery (and it was on my face so I was feeling especially sensitive about it, as I still had to carry on with life and be seen in public). When I got home that day there was a bag hanging on my door from my friend filled with lovely, cheerful things, and just thinking of it now still brings tears to my eyes. I thanked her many times, but I’m sure she still doesn’t really know how much that meant to me. Happy V-Day!
What a wonderful friend. It’s funny how those little things are what we remember and what sometimes bring the greatest feeling. I had a friend tell me once, with so much love and feeling, that I was one of her favorite people. I still think of that moment and how warm I felt when I’m down.
What a wonderful way to think about love, Emily. In my family’s culture and then now in my husband’s, they definitely do it through action and sacrifice…anything that says, “I thought about you.” It could be in something small like my husband turning my computer on for me first thing in the morning if he knows that I have an early client appointment. But sacrifice/action hasn’t necessarily been the way that I’ve shown love, so it took some time (and misunderstandings!) for me to train myself to see the small, quiet actions as acts of love.
When it comes to friends I really feel it when I’m not judged. I don’t know if they realize it but each time I show something that I am not proud of and they look at me with normalcy or compassion, I feel loved and accepted. It’s the most important thing to me.
I like both of those ideas, action/sacrifice and compassion. Your thoughts reminded me of that Five Love Languages book that everybody was talking about a few years ago. We really all feel it in different ways. I guess the trick is to make sure we are giving it the best way possible to those around us.
Such a nice post. You’ve got me totally curious about what was in the package!
Ah, now I understand what you mean by nice smelling. I was thinking cookies! Ha, ha! Books is better.
And there was potpourri or something in there that made it all smell wonderful!
I am right there with you in being more loving, kind and compassionate this year:) I have been dealing with a situation for some time now and I do not like the person I am becoming. I am working on changing this situation – hopefully very soon. Happy V Day – Happy Weekend!
It is so hard. I keep having to tell myself that the only person I can control is me, but that’s the hardest part!
What a lovely post about love…and I completely agree. For me, it is that constricting feeling my heart gets like I just love this person so much and feel so loved by them that it almost hurts but it’s an absolutely good hurt. This happens the most when I’m having one of those deep heart conversations where you feel that person giving some precious part of themselves to you and you feel them holding tenderly the part of your story you gave to them. I call these people my bosom friends (an Anne of Green Gables idea) because of how close we feel-heart speaking to heart. Happy love day to everyone! Celebrate the love you have around you!
Yes, bosom friends! I love it. I get that heart constricting feeling too sometimes. What a wonderful thing it is to have friends.
This is a really lovely post. Thanks for sharing. Your description of the quiet and calm love today is so important because people usually focus on the big noisy showy love this time of year. Honestly this reminds me of a sermon at church from decades ago about three types of love: eros, agape, and … there was a third kind that I don’t remember now. Probably “brotherly.” It’s odd the things that stick even after so much time and change.
Thanks, Denise. I didn’t even know there were three kinds of love. I want to look into that now.
What a nice way of describing love. I can relate to the wonderful package idea—my mom and sister always send me elaborate holiday packages filled with candy, confetti, and little odds and ends. I can tell they put a lot of time into each one.
How wonderful! It sounds like they do love you, and I think the key is the time and care. If somebody spends time on me or with me, then I know they care.
I’m a big believer in just “sending” someone loving thoughts helps. Like yesterday my sister in law just started up at a new gym. I sent her love and support for her new health adventure and my partner had a job presentation on yesterday, I sent him love to help give him confidence. There are all sorts of love, and we should not limit ourselves to touch alone.
I agree. So what do you mean by sending? Do you just think good thoughts for them, or do you tell them that you are doing it? I would like to try this!
I sit down in a quiet spot, rest my hands over my heart and think of all the things I love in my life, when I feel like love is overflowing from my body I give that energy a direction by visualising the person that I want to sent it to.
It’s a fun and invigorating exercise.
Great post! I would say that I am the same way. There are some people that I see and I am instantly calmed by them. I love getting packages from these people as well! I love surprising them too and hope they feel about me like I do them.
Some people definitely have a knack for this!
Reblogged this on KENYA HAS IT. and commented:
Pure and true love based.
Reblogged this on hanan fatima.
What if someone isn’t capable of showing love? What if they’re a sociopath? Or maybe a sadist? My best friend is both of those but we still have a strong connection.
I have some family members like that. I can’t handle it. In my situation, a strong connection isn’t possible. It turns into abuse.
well said, its not always about the touch but what comes with it.
Yes! You’ve summed it up nicely. 🙂